Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
