I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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