it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
