Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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