i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
