She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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