TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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