you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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