got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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