woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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