I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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