At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
