Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
