So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
