my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
