I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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