oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
