Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
