Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
