Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
