Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
