it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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