Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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