i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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