She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
