eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
