I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
