thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize
