Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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