i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize