He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
