I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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