C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
