Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
