Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
