Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
True strength comes from lack of pants
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
