lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
