Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
