Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
