i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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