i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
