I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
