careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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