: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
