That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
