At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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