something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
