Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
