remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
