Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
