you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
